Lost and Found and Lingering
by Ophelia'song
Summary: After Rose is forced to choose between Jason and her father, Jason and Rose have a little chat about their relationship. A deleted scene from my story The Red Right Hand.


**_A/N: Hey guy! So finally, as promised, this deleted scene is edited and ready for you! I unfortunately had to edit this scenes out for time and pacing purposes, but thought it was still something Rojay fans would enjoy and was important to establish in some form. For those of you who have not read Red Right Hand and are new to my work: Rose was forced to chose between her father and Jason and (somewhat reluctantly) chose Jason. This is the discussion I wrote where the two share their childhood experiences and ultimately come to terms with their feelings for each other. I hope you enjoy this scene and if you want to read more or would like more context, I suggest reading The Red Right Hand in full (especially you Rojay fans! ;)_**

**_I've also decided to try posting this story and others like it to a collection entitled: The Red Right Cuts on Ao3. There, I will also be taking prompts from readers in regards to stories based around the Red Right Hand and posting them there. If you have an idea you'd like me to explore in regards to these or other characters in the RRH canon, please leave me a prompt. As for this sight I will start a community to couple these stories together Entitled: The Red Right Cuts.  
_**

**_As for Rojay readers, I am also working on a two part one shot for the pairing. I don't know when it will be ready, but I'm hoping to have it done over the summer._**

**_As for the next update for RRH it's coming hopefully next week or the week after :)_**

**_Thanks for reading and let me know your thoughts. As always, constructive critique is welcome. _**

**_With Love -Ophelia_**

* * *

**Lost and Found and Lingering**

_"Hollow streets are whistling,_  
_Singing songs and marching off to war._  
_Screaming at our childhood,_  
_It's clear to see we haven't come too far."_

_-Nothing_

By the time Jason reached his apartment, it was passed 11. From what he understood Rose was apparently waiting for him there. He reached for the knob, but found the door locked, this wasn't unusual as Rose typically climbed through his window unnoticed. However, today, she'd clearly used the front door. He unlocked it and pushed it open, looking around, hoping to find her.

"Rose?" he called into the dark apartment, unable to find her at first glance.

He removed his coat and threw it on the couch, noticing the bedroom door was ajar, a dim light bleeding from it. He approached the room and slowly pushed open the door where he found her asleep. She was still dressed in her grey turtleneck and dark torn jeans, her pretty white hair spilt over the pillow like a blanket of snow. She had something under her hand, beneath the lamp light. He leaned over and noticed a book open before her, about 10 pages in. The sight made him smile as her chest rose and fell calmly, because if nothing else, he knew she felt safe.

He removed his gun holsters and other weapons, placing them on the chair by his bed (y'know, just in case). He leaned over and kissed Rose on the temple, trying not to wake her. Only he did.

She gasped and her eyes flew open, immediately falling on him relieved.

"Hey, it's me—it's okay," Jason said, noticing the alarm on her face.

She let out a sigh of relief and pulled herself up right. He could practically hear her heart beating out of her chest. She was never this jumpy, and Jason could tell she didn't want to talk about it.

"Doing a little bedtime reading?" he said, glancing down at the book.

She tiredly peered down and smiled at him. "Yeah, I know it's your favorite. I figured I'd give it a shot."

He smiled picking up the old copy of _Robin Hood _she'd plucked from his shelf. "Finally got tired of watching _Shameless? _"

"Yeah, started hitting a little too close to home for me."

"What part: the criminal boyfriend, the crazy mom, or the neglectful father?"

She rolled her eyes and leaned back on the head board. "Kinda all'a the above."

He smiled, "I get that…" but a question burned at his lips. "Why'd you come back?"

Rose shrugged and looked down at her fingernails, noticing that they needed to be cut. "I don't know, I just…" she stopped a moment, honestly not sure what to say. She so badly wanted to stay, but she still wanted the love and approval of her father. Only now, she knew that was something she'd probably never get. No matter how much she was willing to give up. "What was your mom like?"

"Why?" He frowned.

"You never talk about her: why?"

"Because I hate my mother," Jason finally admitted. "She left me and my dad when I was about three. She never wrote or kept in touch. When I was a kid, I thought she used to send me birthday cards, but... after my dad died, those stopped coming too."

"He sent them?"

Jason nodded. "Yeah. After that it was like she never existed, or I didn't exist to her."

Rose glanced down a moment, she knew what that felt like. Growing up not knowing who the other half of her was, not knowing what parts belonged to him, or what he even looked like. But nothing could have braced her for the part that came next.

"So you don't know what happened to her?"

"I do," Jason nodded meagerly, "she died."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm kinda glad she's dead."

Jason leaned over and pulled an old photo from his side table drawer. Rose took it, looking down at a photo of a young couple and their son. A pretty blonde woman with her arms wrapped tightly around the child and his father proudly holding his beautiful wife close. They looked so happy, how could she leave?

"Bruce tracked her down a few years back; I think he thought it would be good for me," he paused and shook his head. "He probably regrets that by now," Jason added coarsely. "She was a doctor doing missionary work in Ethiopia, he brought me there, hoping that meeting her could set me on the straight and narrow. Turns out my dad wasn't the only criminal in the family. She'd been embezzling money from the foundation she worked for for years. I found out she was being blackmailed by the Joker for medical supplies… I just wanted to help her; instead that bitch set me up."

"She was the reason you went to that warehouse in the first place?" Rose concluded so Jason didn't have to.

"Yeah, and even after that, I still tried to save her, but I couldn't."

"You can't blame yourself—"

"I don't, Rose, and neither should you." He took her hand in his, feeling her calloused palms, evidence left from tireless hours of training and it truly showed, and not just in her skillset. "I get it, Rose—I really do. Because as much as I hate that woman for what she did to me, I still love her too. I know you love your dad, I know that his opinion of you is everything, but just because he's your father doesn't mean that you owe him anything. He certainly doesn't deserve to have a daughter like you."

She didn't want to cry, but her eyes welled up anyway. "I know all that, and I really do just wanna walk away, and I know I have to, but… it's not fair. I wanted him in my life for so long, but my life will never be mine as long as he's in it. But I'm also afraid of what he'll do now that I've made my choice."

"You can't live like that, Rose," Jason said, "you shouldn't be afraid of your father, you deserve so much better than that."

A heavy tear rolled down her cheek. "Then why do I feel like I don't have a grip? All I want is a place where I belong, but no matter where I go, I don't belong anywhere."

"You belong here, Rose," Jason said, wrapping an arm around her. "I know it's not much, but you have a place here, with me."

Rose wiped the tears from her cheek, peering down at her fingertips. "Yeah I think Jinx would have an aneurism."

He laughed. "Hey from what I understand, you actually made progress with her today."

"Yeah after she ripped me a new asshole on the sidewalk."

"Hey what she said obviously worked. You're here aren't you?"

"No, if anything she made me wanna go throw myself off the Gotham Bridge. Raven was the one who actually talked me off the ledge and made me wanna come back."

"Oh really and what were those all inspiring words?

"That I'm young and stupid and I don't know anything," she giggled coyly. "She also said that just because Slade's my dad, doesn't mean he wants the best for me, that he only wants the best for himself. She said that you'd understand that… I guess she was right."

"Yeah that's apparently one of her super powers," Jason smiled. "But I mean it. You can stay here as long as you need to, Rose. Don't be afraid to call this place home."

_Home, _she thought. That word hadn't meant anything in a long time, part of her wasn't sure if it ever really had. Even while growing up in New York, home was something her mother always strived to give her, but could never really deliver on. She literally grew up around whores and their Johns, befriended by their illegitimate children, and worst of all, Rose understood that at a very young age. It wasn't until she'd reached adolescence that she realized how abnormal that was. And she only realized now as a young adult how poorly that influence affected her. And ironically enough, Jason was the person who made her see that, but he never judged her for it. He had his own damage to overcome, he had no right to dwell on hers, nor did he want to. He simply wanted to give her better.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really used to people wanting something from me… when their nice. You're the first person who never has."

"This is gonna sound generic, but I just want you to be happy," he smiled awkwardly, "and I know this is really sappy and I've never actually said this to anybody before, so please don't laugh… but_ I love you _."

Regardless of his request she laughed. "You say that like it hurts."

"Cause it kinda does," he stated annoyed, "I feel like I just lost _cool points _with you."

"You did," she nodded sardonically, "but I love you too so... we're even on cool points," she added with a playful eye roll.

She leaned forward and kissed him, feeling for once like she genuinely belonged with him. He let his hand fall behind her neck protectively, happy to have her there.

"So does that mean you're staying?" he asked cradling her head.

"What, do you want me to spell it out for you?"

"You can, I'm not stopping you."

"Stop being an asshole or I'm leaving."

"Again not stopping you," he grinned.

She balled her fist and punched him playfully, though even a playful blow from her still packed a bit of a punch.

"Oww," Jason winced, "you hit like a dude."

"And you cry like a girl."

"So do you," he replied and pulled her into a deep kiss before she could even protest, Rose willingly falling back on the bed as she pulled him down with her.

"Hey Rose?" he managed, taking a breath, the mercenary's daughter looking up at him impishly.

"Yeah?" she replied kittenish, undoing his belt.

He smiled down at her regretfully. "I think you're father is—"

"Uh," she sighed knowing that face and tone all too well, "please don't ruin the moment, Todd..."

He grimaced, as she pulled off her shirt and went to work on the armor.

"I just don't wanna think about him right now, okay?" she pleaded looking up a him.

He looked back at her, letting his fingertips flirt with the silk of her skin, her blue eyes practically pleading for him to leave her ignorant.

"Yeah," he finally said, Rose planting a rather hungry kiss on him, letting a hand drift below his waistline.

Jason's words finding no breath to revive them for the time being, his senses completely devoured by the flesh. The white haired girl playing the arbiter to his silence.


End file.
